One Week
by baby.turtle.cute
Summary: Danni Davis and J.B. Duenweg's Lesley Davis meet up in this little cross over story. Humor and O'Hara harassment ensue! READ AND REVIEW! Now Complete
1. Chapter 1

One week

Day 1

Disclaimer

Danni belongs to me, Lesely belong to JB Duenweg and the rest of the people belong to the patriot people.

Danni Davis stood in the foyer of the Fort Carolina house. She had spent all morning getting ready straitening her hair. That was some sort of ordeal. She had heated a pair of flat irons and put the products in her hair to keep it from frying and getting frizzy. She stamped her foot impatiently. "Where is he?" She growled leaving the house and walking down to the stables looking for her escort. He was not there. "ARUG! Where in the devil is he?" She failed her arms around wildly. "When I find him I'm going to beat him with the ugly stick!" She screamed. She stomped out of the stables.

There was a lot of shouting in the last corner of the yard. There were bunches of continental prisoners held there earlier. There had been a "prisoner exchange" earlier that week not that it ever bothered her. She just stayed out of the way of the war. Especially, since it had to do with a personal thing on Colonel Tavington's part. Ever since the I-pod incident, she stayed out of his way. She heard a few choice words formed an "o" with her mouth. It sounded like a woman shouting. She looked in that direction and saw a blonde haired girl running towards her. She got the deer in the headlights look and stood there. Behind the woman were several very angry soldiers and on e ticked off Tavington.

Lesley Davis had a rough night. The idiotic man had tied her up a dumped her in a makeshift jail cell. Bo was tied up outside to one of the wooden beams. She sighed and slid her hands under feet. Those years at karate had made her flexible. She sighed and grabbed the extra knife that she kept in her boots. "These people are idiots." She quickly cut the ropes and picked the lock to the door. "This is too easy." She laughed to herself.

Just when she thought that she was going to get away Scot-free, some stupid soldier noticed her. "You there stop!" She growled under breath and headed towards the stables. There was a girl standing in the middle of the yard. She was just standing there like an idiot. At the point that Lesley ran into her, both of them went tumbling over each other. Lesley gave an angry shout and the other girl screamed. "Get the heck out of my way!" Lesley threw the girl off her and tried running. Instead, she ran into the pompous jerk that had been the same room as Cornwallis.

"Miss Davis, come on?" He grabbed her and dragged her to the stables. "We're late for your ridding lessons."

Meanwhile, Danni was barely sitting up when she felt Tavington kick her. "Get up" He grabbed her by the collar. "Try and escape will you?" He breathed on her face. "Well then, let's see what Cornwallis has to say about that. Bordon, clap her in irons!"

Danni came out of her shock and screamed with frustration. "Colonel you're off your head! What Bordon, take these chains of me immediately. I swear, I'll make sure Cornwallis has your heart for lunch!" She yelled thrashing. Tavington turned around, grabbed her long blonde hair, and dragged her up the stairs. She kicked and screamed the whole way up.

Lesley mounted the horse quickly intent on running away. "You're doing very well Miss Davis. Now just- the next thing O'Hara knew he was lying in a pile of horse manure. . Danni had kicked him and was taking of on her horse. She was screaming at the men to open the gates. He groaned. "MISS DAVINS stop this instant." He shouted running after her.

Danni stood in front of Cornwallis with Tavington holding the back of her shirt. She sighed and looked at him. Tavington looked at her strangely. "Colonel, why exactly do you have Miss Davis chained up? And what are these accusations of escape?" Tavington paled a little.

"I thought she seemed a little short." Bordon muttered underneath his breath. Before any more action could take place, a soldier ran into the room.

"Sir, the prisoner has escaped!" He shouted, pointing too the window. Tavington let go of Danni and ran down the stairs.

It was only a few minutes for Tavington to catch the other Miss Davis. He mounted his horse quickly and the gates were still open. He rode after her, lapping O'Hara; her horse was an old mare that was near the glue factory. Tavington came along side of her and grabbed her by the waist. He pulled her off and threw her to the ground. Before she could react, he was off his horse and had a weapon trained on her. "Miss Davis would please be so kind accompany me back to the fort." She got to her feet and tried to kick the gun out of his hands. He just moved his hand and apprehended her. "Really, miss, this would be so much easier." He pulled her arm behind her back. O'Hara approached them.

"Ah, Colonel, er, why are you treating Miss Davis that way, Cornwallis will have you court marshaled." He asked. Tavington and Lesley rolled their eyes.

"General O'Hara this is not Miss Davis."

"It's not?" He stammered looking her over.

"Yes, I am you stupid a-

"Now, now Miss Davis, we'll have none of that." He commanded smugly. "Please notice that she is substantially taller." Lesley jerked and Tavington tightened his grip. "Now, please get her stupid mutt and bring it to the room." Lesley stepped on his foot in a futile attempt to get away. Tavington groaned and forced her forward.

The two girls stood in front of Cornwallis. He looked them both over several times. "They do have a great resemblance, well with the exception of height." He said. Danni rolled her eyes.

"Yes all that aside, Lord General, I have one itsy-bitsy problem." Danni said smiling sweetly. Lesley made a disgusted noise, Danni glared at the other girl. "I still happen to be **CHAINED UP**!" She screamed. Cornwallis just stared at her surprised, then made a motion for Bordon to unchain her. "Thank you." She rubbed her wrists.

"What are you some sort of spoiled valley girl?" Lesley asked preparing to attack Danni.

"No, I'm a GRITS, you over rated, under bathed Yankee." She shot back. Lesley lunged at Danni, but Wilkins jumped in the way. Lesely strained at him and said some nasty things to Danni, who just stood in corner with her eyebrow raised. The doors burst open, further deterring any trash talk. O'Hara stood there straining on the rope tied to the collar of a large pit bulldog. He was tore up. The brocade of his red jacket was missing and his wig was on side ways. There were several mud stains on his pristine pants, his stocking had hole in them, and his left shoe was missing. "Oh my soul, O'Hara what happened to you?"

"This stupid dog," He flew forward as Bo jerked towards Lesley out reached hands. "I'm going to slash him open and eat him!" He jumped to his feet and found himself back down on the ground.

"Touch my dog and you'll be singing soprano little man." Lesley threatened. Wilkins apprehended him and held her there. "Hey idiot let me go."

"Miss Davis that will be enough out of you!" Cornwallis shouted. He heaved a heavy breath. "Danni, why are you wearing those awful things? I thought we discussed this." Danni shrugged and tried to make an answer. "Never mind, I will think of a adequate punishment for you later." Danni flailed her arms. She had issues with blame. "Now, Miss Davis, trying to escape our fort would only cause you and several others much pain. How are we to keep you from doing that?" He paused and rubbed his finger together. "Danni, I've thought of a punishment for you, as well as you Miss Davis. Danni, you are to be Miss Davis's keeper. This means she will stay in your room and be with you at all times possible."

"WHAT!" They both shouted

"Heck no!" and "A snow ball has better chance with the Devil!" filled the room as the two girl began protesting. Lesely said a few nasty things to Tavington who was sniggering the background. Cornwallis noticed this.

"To ensure that both of you girls do as you are told, Colonel Tavington I am putting you in charge of the girls for the next week while I am gone to see my wife, Ruthie, and Rose in Charlestown."

"NO FREAKING WAY!" Both girls screamed. (Only Lesley didn't say freaking she said the other one). Tavington tried to protest but Cornwallis dismissed them all. Danni walked out of the room muttering under her breath. "I would so like to wring his fat head of and watch his eyes pop out then stick a hot poker up his nose and scramble his brains around and see how he likes being messed with."

"That's sounds kind of morbid for you Valley girl." Lesley laughed at her infuriated state. Danni was about to say something rude to Lesley but Tavington stepped in.

"Both of you shut up!" He shouted pushing them both up the stairs. Bo growled at him and Lesley turned around and kicked him in the stomach. He grunted but it didn't seem to faze him. He dragged them her up the stairs. Danni already stood at the top because she knew Tavington could over power her. Finally, he got Lesely up the steps and into the room. "You two will stay in here for the remainder of the night, if either of you set foot outside this door. I will be waiting to shoot you."

Lesley balked a little and shoved Tavington out of the room telling him something that would deflate any man's ego. She slammed the door and turned her face to Danni who was pouring water into a basin. "Today was a complete waste of make up!" She growled wetting her hair.

"You wear make up." Lesley asked looking at the bag of make up, hair sprays, and different girly things.

"Yes, my word how did they ever mistake me for you? Your like ten inches taller than me!" She said as she grabbed a near by towel and wrapped her hair in it. Then she looked at Lesley "You have better nose than I do." She commented. Lesley touched her nose and stared at the other blonde.

"Why are you noticing that?"

"I draw, your nose is easy to draw its very straight." She shrugged and sat in the desk chair. "But my lips are better ya know bigger, yours are thin. Actually your just thin all over which makes me wonder about the Colonel cause my chest is so much bigger than yours." She said. Lesley crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'll thank you for not noticing that! Why are you looking anyway? Are you gay or something?" She growled at her.

Danni narrowed her eyes and gave a fake smile. "Actually I'm a semi homophobe." She looked at the bed where her black and white cat was lying. "Ah, Salem how are you precious?" She picked the cat up and it sat on her shoulder like a baby.

"You are lame, you have cats." Lesley chortled she patted the bed for Bo to jump on. "My dog is will eat your cat." She threatened.

"I will kill your dog." She jerked the cat away. "Now get your smelly fat dog of my bed!" She commanded.

"It's my bed too and keep your stupid cat off my bed!" The two girls went back and forth of a good while before Lesley threw her arms in the air. "You know what Valley Girl, I'm sick of talking about this I think I'm going to just kick your scrawny little butt!"

"Why don't you come over here and do that?" Danni retorted. She didn't wait for Lesley to do any thing but grabbed two fistfuls of hair and jerked it. Lesley did the same thing see that this girl was a true girly girl and did not want to break her precious nails. It did not really do much to either because neither was tender headed. They clawed, scratched, (Danni had the advantage her nails were longer). They rammed into the furniture not paying attention to the their pets that were sitting on the bed staring amused.

Tavington had heard the sounds from inside. They were arguing now it sounded like fighting. He walked unlocked the door, because it locked from the outside. He opened the door and ducked as a vase came flying at his head. It took him a moment to realize that Danni threw it. Lesley looked at him and decided that she was jumping him; he would put up a better fight. She punched him in the jaw. They started fighting. They went near the high boy. There on the floor was Danni's I-pod. She shrieked and ran behind them. Tavington was about step on it, but she pushed him forward sending both him and Lesley to the ground. "You stupids! You almost broke my I-pod, they don't make them in this century!" She screamed waving it around. Tavingotn just slapped his face with his palm. He wanted to strangle them both.

The two girls were sitting on the floor tied with their backs together. Tavington was in the chair sleeping. "This is all your fault!" Lesley shouted.

"My fault, how in the devil is this my fault? It was your dog!" Danni shot back.

"You're the one who started the fight!"

"No, you're the one who threatened to kick my butt!"

"Correction, I threatened to kick your scrawny butt and still will!" Lesley slammed her back against Danni. The shorter blonde protested. Tavington suddenly jumped to his feet.

"**SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU**_"_ He screamed the two girls jumped banging their heads together. He smirked at them. "Now, if I hear so much as a moan out of either of you, I'll shoot you, Cornwallis's favorite or not." Then he sat back down in the chair. The girls whimpered and Danni whispered.

"He freaks me out" Lesley just nodded in agreement.


	2. Day 2

ONE WEEK

Day 2

Tavington groaned as he woke up. He opened his icy blue eyes and tried to figure out why he wasn't in his tent. Then they settled on two girls sitting on the floor. He said something under his breath and stood up. He walked to the washbasin and washed his face then over to the vanity to look at all of Danni's stuff. She had a myriad of colorful things like a bright yellow bottle and a colorful striped bag that held all of her make up. He laughed then his hand went over her I-pod. He never entirely figured the thing out so what better time, than when she was tied up on the floor. He turned around and leaned on the vanity. He put one of the earpieces in his ears and pressed buttons. A loud nosie came through and he took the earpiece out of his ear. Tavington shook his head what ever that noise was it sounded vaguely like music.

"Why are you touching my I-pod?" She asked him crossly.

"Oh you're up, because I know it bothers you." He smirked at her and she growled.

"Bevis's best friend" Tavington just looked at her. "Sorry, BUTTHEAD!" She shouted. Behind her, Lesley woke up and groaned. She wasn't a morning person.

"Hey, stupid, shut up!" She commanded.

"Now, Colonel untie me!" She commanded. Lesley agreed and even called him a name. "Oh so your on my side now?" Danni growled.

Lesley shook her head. "No, I just want to be untied now tell Tavington to untie us, because he seems to listen to you." She explained. Danni just scoffed at her.

"Don't untie her, just me now DO IT!" She yelled at him. He just laughed and continued to play with her I-pod. She let out a frustrated growl. Then there was a knock at the door. "That sounds like O'Hara." Danni said after a minute of thoughtfulness.

"It sounds like a girl knocking." Lesley commented.

"Well," Danni shrugged the best she could as she was still tied up. "He knocks like that." She sighed. "Come in General O'Hara" The door opened and in walked O'Hara. Bo immediately started growling at him. The general shied a little causing both the girls and Colonel Tavington to laugh a little. He gave an indignant little noise then turned to the more important matter at hand.

"Lord General Cornwallis has ordered that I train both the Miss Davis's in proper etiquette." He announced. Danni immediately protested it. He looked at her for the first time. "Er, Colonel Tavington why are they tied up?" Tavington shrugged and congratulated him on his new tasks.

"Oh, and General, I hear the asylums are lovely this time of year, just notify me when you are to visit." Then he left the room. O'Hara gave a girlish noise and cut the two girls free. They got up and Lesley immediately tackled him. She couldn't stand these people and she tried to bolt for the door, but failed to realize Tavington was not gone. Just as she got two steps from the door, he shut it. She ran into it and fell backwards. After which she let out a long curses. "I'm sorry girls but you'll just have to learn how to behave in the bedroom before I can open this door." He laughed.

Lesley spun around to Danni who was standing by the window laughing. "This is all your fault!" She yelled. "If you hadn't been standing in the middle of the court yard I would have gotten away!"

"Again, you are blaming me!" Danni crossed her arms. "Well, I'll tell you what EVE or should I say Evil, If I hadn't been standing in the courtyard, Colonel **BUTTHEAD**would have caught you all the quicker!" She growled. "So there fore straight line thinking tells you that you should be thanking me." They started to argue and were about to scuffle again when O'Hara stood up from his daze and commanded them to stop. That didn't work he let out a girlish shriek and began screaming for Colonel Tavington.

Tavington opened the door and started laughing. There was O'Hara lying prone with two girls sitting on his back. Lesley was holding a pillow over his head while Danni was cross-legged. "Not the sort of action one usually gets in the bedroom, eh, General O'Hara?" Tavington chortled.

Danni gave him a pointed look. "Ew, I mean that's just- just- ew." Lesley nodded in agreement. Then she heard some screaming coming from underneath the pillow.

"I guess, I better let him up." She said as she took the pillow off. O'Hara threw the girls off himself and began sputtering red faced and angry.

"Not with are luck, he's like a cockroach, no matter what you do they just won't die." Danni interjected looking at him bored.

"Colonel Tavington the girls are _your_ responsibility for the rest of the day." He fixed his wig and left. Tavington sighed.

"Both of you get ready, Miss Davis-

"Yes," they said simultaneously. Tavingtion gave them a warning look. Danni clammed up; Tavington's cold blue eyes terrified her. Lesley, however, just continued smirking.

"Miss Danni Davis, find some suitable clothes for our guest, then both of you meet me down in the mess hall." He ordered. Then he turned and left the room.

"Well, my clothes aren't going to fit you." She said getting up and walking to the wardrobe. "My stays won't fit you either." Lesley just looked at her as she pulled out some garments from the closet.

"Why won't your stays fit me?" Lesley held up the stay and gave them a disgusted look.

"Well, aside from the fact that you're taller than me, my chest is way bigger."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to notice that!" Lesley yelled pressing the stays to her. "It's abnormal!"

"No, not really, in fact all of my friends are pretty busty so your just going to make due with what ever we can find." Danni shrugged. "Why are so tall? You're taller than Rosie, but I guess I could always let the hem out of your dress so it won't look funny." Danni pulled out a pair of scissors. Lesley immediately went on her guard. She didn't trust this girl with sharp objects of any sort. "Well, come on, we have to go get the dresses, you can change in Rosie's room." She opened the door and started walking out. Lesley remained behind. "Aren't you coming?" She asked.

"Put the scissors down and I might consider it." Lesley crossed her arms and stood in the doorframe. Danni just rolled her eyes.

"Fine then stay there, and I'll bring you back that pink dress Rosie has." She threatened knowing that Lesley wasn't a pink type of person. She continued down the hall and waited for Lesley to come running after. "Good I knew you would change your mind."

"You know what valley girl you're one manipulative little sucker." Lesley stated. Danni just smiled brightly and pulled out a blue dress.

"I try." The girls got ready and went down stairs to find Colonel Tavington waiting impatiently. He growled at them and made she he grabbed the correct one by the arm to ensure she wouldn't escape. The walk to the officer's mess hall he muttered about how annoying look-a-like girls were, not that they really looked a like.

At the mess hall, they sat down with Bordon and Wilkins. The men smiled at them and talked casually. Eventually the weather got boring however and Danni just began talking and talking, and talking.

"Will you shut up? You sound like the freaking energizer bunny!" Lesley shouted standing to her feet. Danni just sat there a moment and looked dumbfounded. Then she stood up and screamed.

"Well, someone has to, you and your tallness make everybody uncomfortable!" She failed her arms a little bit. Lesley just glared at her.

"It's not my fault you're the shortest person here!" Danni scoffed. They went on exchanging insults, such as a fly burger and near sighted woman's doctor. Bordon and Wilkins noted the growing tension and stood to prevent and fighting that might happen. Tavington just sat in seat and ate his and the other's food. (What, he was hungry and they weren't paying attention.)

"Sir," Bordon said finally. "Shouldn't you stop them before it escalates?" Tavington shook his head and went back to his food. Just as Danni lunged at Lesley, Bordon grabbed her by the waist and Wilkins took Lesley. They both protested and screamed and said mean things to the men and each other, but the men were still to strong. "What are we going to do with them?" Bordon asked as he turned his back and got close to Wilkins.

"Throw them in the river?" Wilkins suggested playfully. He received a look from Bordon. "I don't know, hey girls why don't you act your age, and behave." He asked.

"BECAUSE, if she wasn't such a pris I wouldn't want to kill her!"

"ME a PRIS, excuse me. At least my name is more butch than your pretending to be!" Danni shouted trashing against Bordon. Lesley thrashed some more also. It took nearly all of the breakfast period to calm them down. Tavington didn't help, he would always say something that would start them up again. He just enjoyed watching them fight; it gave him a good laugh. The rest of the day was really just boring; they refused to talk to each other.

Then around five etiquette lessons came up. O'Hara was their teacher and for the first time the two girls worked together. "All right now, Miss Davis"

"Yes" Lesley and Danni had gotten into the habit of saying that at the same time. It annoyed everyone, and because Danni and Lesley were miserable so was everyone else. O'Hara gave them a superior glare and then just looked at him.

"Ladies please I need-

"Ladies,' there's only one lady in the room O'Hara." Danni said playing with her necklace. Lesley was about to start a riot when the shorter blonde finished. "And that's you." General O'Hara's whole face turned red and he began sputtering. Before he could make a quick come back, the door opened and valet entered.

"General, there is a rebel rider here, he has come under a white flag bearing Miss Davis's things." The valet explained. O'Hara looked at the sudden peaked interest that both girls had for the things. He flagged the valet away and excused himself.

"I wonder what he's going to do with your stuff." Danni thought aloud as she stood up. "I mean I wouldn't want O'Hara going through my things." She left the room also. Lesley almond shaped brown eyes grew wide. She jumped to her feet and ran after Danni.

"I have three nuclear weapons in those cases!" She exclaimed swiveling the blonde around. Danni stood there for a moment and stared at her. She opened her mouth several times and waited until Lesley deflated.

"WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU HAVE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION?" Danni screamed at her. Lesley jumped and smacked the other with her hand. "Who on earth is stupid enough to carry something like that into the 17th century? You could blow us all to kingdom come."

"Yes, well it's a long story and its very involved. I need to get them back!" She looked pensive for a moment. "Well that would mean that O'Hara would die." She said optimistically.

Danni gave her a pointed look. "Not with our luck the man is like cockroach." She sighed crossed her arms. "All right then, lets go ask him for it." Danni went up the stairs and back towards the room.

"I thought we were going to ask him for it." Lesley crossed her arms irritated and stood at the foot of the stairs.

"Yes, we are, but O'Hara is terrified of your dog. Some times you have use force to get what you want around here." Danni went into the room and came out with Bo. "Call your stupid idiot dog." She commanded.

The girls walked down the hall to the library where O'Hara was just walking out. "Hey, O'Hara!" He turned around to them. "We need to talk."

"I want my things." Lesley stated straightforward. O'Hara just looked at her then to her dog and took two involuntary steps back. He hated dogs, which was why he was glad Danni kept cats.

"I'm sorry Miss Davis, but I cannot do that." He stated walking away quickly. Danni caught up with him and grabbed his arm.

"Hey you tell me," She threatened. "Or I'll tell." O'Hara just laughed at her haughtily.

"Well, Miss Davis, I hate, actually am happy, to inform you that I am no longer there. I have moved on to bigger and better things." He smiled, bowed and skipped away. Danni looked crestfallen. She sighed and started up the stairs.

"Well, that sucks" She muttered before they entered the room. Lesley was holding Bo as Danni got the key to unlock the door, then she noticed that it was broken. "Aw, crap this night just gets better and better. Lesley will you go in first?" Danni asked. Lesley raised an eyebrow and gave her that why look. "I mean you being so tough and such a good fighter and all." Lesley rolled her eyes and opened the door. Suddenly she found herself sitting in the vanity chair, held forcibly by none other than Colonel William Tavington. "Colonel, what in the devil is your problem?" Danni shouted. He turned around and glared at her icily. She clamped her mouth shut.

"Miss Davis, the man who brought your things who was he?" He sneered at her. Lesley just flipped him off in return. Danni held in a small snicker. Tavington ignored her. "I see you are not going to cooperate, there fore I will take a large measure to force you." He pulled out his gun and pointed it at her. Lesley gave him a challenging look and dared him to shoot her. He smiled evily at her and turned the gun on Bo who was sitting at Lesley's feet. Lesley showed no sign of fear but new he was more than capable of shooting her beloved pure bread.

Danni tensed as the Colonel pulled out his steely weapon. It scared her whenever he used it, because he was such an excellent shot. Danni shivered and gasped involuntarily when the weapon turned onto the dog. Danni stared, she knew how much Lesley loved the beast and the shorter blonde-haired woman didn't wish for anything bad to happen to her acquaintance. She had to stall so she screamed. Tavington spun around and started at her. "WHATS THE MATTER NOW?" He roared.

"I… er… I saw a um

"Spit it out girl!"

"Spider, I saw a spider, a big hairy spider." She tried to motion with her hand how big it was. Tavington just seemed annoyed.

"Miss Davis, I know, for a fact, that you are not afraid of spiders!" He rolled his eyes and turned back to Lesley. In the time that Danni had distracted him, Lesley stood up and kicked him in the stomach. She grabbed the gun out his hand and pointed it at him.

"I thinks it's time you leave Colonel" She said leaning heavy on the trigger. Tavington jumped to his feet and nodded. He didn't want to fight Lesley, he knew that Danni would hold it against him. She seemed to like the girl well enough to argue with her. It was strange the way that women showed appreciation to one another. Lesley emptied the chamber, handed the weapon to him, and he walked off. Danni sighed and shut the door behind him.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish." She said. "All right now, I'm getting ready for bed." She went to the chest of drawers and pulled out a pair silky pajama pants and tee shirt.

"Hey, Davis" Lesley said as she patted Bo and grabbed some of the clothes Danni provided from her from the other girls Rose. Danni turned around and looked at her expectantly. "Thanks" Danni nodded and went behind the room divider to ensure privacy for both. There was a long silence and then something stuck Lesley. "Hey, what did O'Hara mean when he said that he moved on to better things?"

Danni thought for a moment. "Look in the third drawer down in the chest." Danni said. Lesley opened the drawer and saw a beautiful pistol lying there wrapped in plastic. She snorted.

"Who in their right mind would give _you_ a firearm?"

Danni came around the corner and chuckled. "O'Hara, I found out a dirty little secret and threatened him with it." She picked up her cat and kissed it.

"You mean you black mailed him?" Lesley started laughing. Danni just gave her a dirty look. "All right, so you engage in black mail, that's a little dark for you Blondie."

Danni stood and walked over to the vanity looking for a brush. "Well, when you say it like that, any thing sounds dark. And yes, I black mail half the staff. I had to follow him for three day until I caught him in the, ahem, ladies house." Danni said delicately. Lesley burst out laughing and rolled on the floor for a few minutes. "Anyway he must have moved on to a more expensive girl than Constance Bennet. Constance is really nice, I like her a lot. You know, we should get his diary then use that against him."

"How do you know he keeps a dairy?" Lesley asked as she got the toothpaste for her teeth.

"Well, you see I have this low shirt and his valet doesn't like him so I went to his valet and" She heard Lesley audibly groan. "AND then I threatened to shoot him with Wilkins gun." She smiled happily as she rearranged the vanity table.

"Again, who in their right mind would give you a fire arm?"

"Well, he didn't exactly give it to me. I commandeered it one day when he was away from his post." Danni smiled bubbly.

"So you steal and blackmail?" Lesley accused. Danni shook her head vigorously.

"No, no, I borrowed with out permission, and then I it gave back." She wiped her face with a towel. "And I only black mail O'Hara, he does everything for me. He's bought us, that is me and my friends, half the stuff we own. Everyone thinks he does it to get in Cornwallis's good graces, but it's really because he values his reputation." She smirked. There was another long silence as the girls turned down the comforter. Danni eyed Bo. "Look, Lesley, I'll tell you what, if I help you get your stuff back, well use our knowledge to get your dog a bed, if you'll keep him off mine." She requested turning down the bed covers. Lesley leveled her gaze with Danni and did the same.

"All right, but how are we to get to O'Hara's diary?"

"Well, I'm really sort of tired, and I'm sure your day's been a little hectic, so in the words of the immortal Scarlet O'Hara, fiddle-de-dee I think about that tomorrow." Danni chuckled and got into bed. Lesley just gave her strange look.

"No more pop culture references for you." She muttered climbing on her side of the bed. They quickly fell asleep. It had been a long tiresome day.

TBC….

See Danni can be just as nice as she is evil. Anyway I'm rather proud of this chapter, it really got the story in motion, considering there are only seven chapters. so ya'll better stop depressing me and REVIES it's not that hard.

A spceail TY to J.B. Duenweg for letting me use Lesley, and being my one and only reviewer. I'm hoping I live up to your expectaions!

Baby Turtle


	3. Day three

Day 3

1:00 AM

Danni was sleeping fitfully and she sat straight up disturbing the dog that disturbed the cat that disturbed the other girl lying in the bed. "TAVINGTON!" She shouted. Lesley groggily looked at the other blonde who seemed wide awake.

"What?" She asked trying to bury her head under the pillow. Danni grabbed the pillow and threw it across the room.

"We have to get around Tavington to get the journal in O'Hara's bed room!" She cried flailing her arms widely. Lesley still wasn't coherent and Danni was speaking quickly so it was no wonder that the taller blonde only mixed the statement up.

"Why is Tavington in O'Hara's bed?" She asked trying to keep her eyes open.

Danni moaned. "AUGH MY EYES IT BURNS, bad mental image." She screamed covering her face with her palms. "Must poke eyes out! AUGH why did you have to say that you nasty perv!" Danni shoved Lesley. It took her a moment to realize what she had said and when she did, Lesley regretted it.

"Ugh, that's just gross" She commented still burying her face in the pillows. "You have a nasty mind."

Danni glared at her. "You're the one who said it."

Lesley who was still to exhaust to think just ignored the incitement to argue and possibly fight. "All right so why are Tavington and O'Hara in the same room." She said reaching over to scratch Salem under the chin. She sighed.

"No, dumb butt, we have to find a way to distract Tavington to get into O'Hara's room to get O'Hara's journal." Danni said quickly. Lesley nodded.

"All right what do propose we do?" Lesley asked trying to see a little further into the future. Danni growled and slammed herself on the bed. "Yea, that's what I thought, now I'm going back to sleep." There was a brief silence and Danni gasped and sat bolt strait in the bed. She opened her mouth. "Unless you a death wish, you'll shut up." Danni squeaked and went back to sleep.

10:00 AM

Lesley finished tying her stays and came out so Danni could help her put on her other things. "Man, I hate this stuff, I'm tempted to just walk around naked." Lesley growled as Danni pulled a little tighter on the stays. She gasped.

Danni shrugged. "Well, please don't because I value my mental sanity." Danni threw a petticoat at her. "Anyway, you remember the whole O'Hara-Tavington thing, right?" She asked going behind the room divider. "Well, I was thinking-

"Don't hurt yourself" Lesley shot at her. "I know it's hard for you to think." She began laughing at her.

"Ho, ha, he, your so funny I forgot how to laugh." Danni came around she was wearing a regular dress then had a duffel bag of stuff. "Anyway, we need to go to the doctor." She said slinging the duffel over her shoulder. Lesley gave her a puzzled look. "You see when I first got here I had trouble sleeping. I went to a doctor who gave me some drugs for it. I would take it with hot chamomile tea. Slept like a baby." She smiled as she grabbed some more clothes and stuffed it into the duffel bag. "You got any blue jeans." She asked. Lesley nodded and got them out.

"So, if you're going to the medics. What's with the bag?" She asked.

"Well, we've got to go see Miss Constance Rollins." Danni beamed as she opened the door. "That's how we'll distract O'Hara." She turned around and found herself staring into Colonel Tavington's blue eyes. "Holy pooh on rye bread toast, Colonel Tavington, one of these days I'm going to clobber you." She growled he just pushed her aside and approached Lesley.

"Miss Davis," he growled grabbing her arm. "I want you to know that I am allowed to shoot you here and now. No one would ever wonder why." He growled into her face. Lesley met his gaze openly. She stepped a little closer so she could be in his face.

"Bring it." She smiled. There was a moment of tense silence. Tavington flexed his jaw. He nodded in acceptance of her challenge. Again, there was a heavy silence, it made Danni uncomfortable.

"All right, well, Colonel Lesley and I are going to the medics."

"Why?" Tavington asked tersely.

"Well you see Colonel, around 28 days ago, my _friend _came. And now she's back again. I need to go talk to him." Danni explained placing her hand on her stomach. Tavington shifted uncomfortably. He hated hearing about women's problems. The man could kill mercilessly but when it came to women, he was at a total loss. He escorted them down the stairs and to the medical quarters.

They were outside the tent of Doctor Mohen. Tavington shifted uncomfortably as Danni pretended to cramp and nearly doubled over. Lesley took her cue. "You know, Colonel we're gonna be a while." She took the duffel bag from the other girl. "You can go, and we'll see you later." He nodded gratefully, bowed and left. They waited until the Colonel was out of eyesight before laughing at him. "Man, who knew that PMS made him so uncomfortable?" Lesley chuckled. Danni raised her hand and jumped up and down, crying "oh, me, me!" Lesley just rolled her brown eyes and walked into the tent. There she found a 50 something year old man taking off his shirt. Danni followed her in and cried out.

"MY EYES!"

"Oh, good heavens," exclaimed the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry Miss Davis!" He pulled his shirt down and blushed furiously. "I wasn't aware of your presence." Danni walked passed Lesley who did not move.

"It's all right Doctor, we should have knocked or something. Isn't that right Lesley?" Danni elbowed her and the girl did not move. "Lesley?" She said with more question. The blonde girl still stood perfectly still and began saying "Buh buh buh" Danni stifled a giggle. "I think she's in shock." The doctor furrowed his brow and rolled up his sleves.

"Perhaps I should do something?" He questioned approaching Lesley. Danni laughed again and shook her head.

"I can fix it." She gave a sadistic little smile and rubbed her hands. "LESLEY, Colonel Tavington is taking his shirt off!" She cried. Lesley immediately came too. Then she realized what her devious little friend had done.

She scowled at Danni. "That was low, even for you Valley girl." Danni just smirked and turned to the doctor.

"Well, I guess we should get what we came for." Danni paused and reached into her bag and pulled out a small bottle. "I've had some trouble sleeping lately."

"Haven't we all?" Lesley muttered still upset about the Tavington comment. Danni glared at her then returned to the doctor.

"I need some more pills." She handed him the bottle and he examined it. He went to a crate, opened it, and pulled out an identical bottle.

"Here, these are them. Take them right before bed with some tea and it should give you at least eight hours of good sleep." He smiled and handed her the bottle. "Can I do anything else?"

"no, these should do just fine. Thank you." She curtsied. "Good day, come on Lesley." She stuffed the bottle back into the lavender duffel bag and grabbed her friend. They ran out. Doctor Mohen just shook his head. Sometimes, he wondered about that girl.

12:00 PM

Danni pulled Lesley into the trees. The spot was secluded. "Take off your clothes." She commanded undoing her own over dress. Lesley looked at quizzically. "What, just do it!"

"All right, I thought we covered this. I don't swing that way." She crossed her arms over the dress. Danni glared at her and reached into the duffel bag. She pulled out a pair of pants and launched them at Lesley. "What are these for?"

"Good night in the morning, you say I'm dense!" Danni exclaimed. "I would- we would- ruin my, er, our reputation. And because, I dearly love Lord General Cornwallis, I simply cannot reflect poorly on him."

Lesley nodded slowly, "but I thought these things were improper." Danni shrugged. "Then why are we putting them on."

"Gosh, this morning, I told we are going to see Constance Rollins." Danni explained as she went behind at tree with the duffel bag. "I can't go in Lucy's Place, dressed as Danni Davis, personal favorite of Lord Cornwallis, so I go as Danni Davis," she came around the tree in her pants and shirt and a pair of boots. "as Danni Davis common heart broken boy." She smiled. Danni reached into the bag and pulled out a wet cloth. She washed the make up off her face and smudged her eyeliner.

Lesley gasped playfully. "Oh my word, you're actually taking off your make up?"

"Yes, I'd look funny if I didn't now get dressed. I won't have my reputation messed up because of you." Slowly, Lesley got ready.

2:00 PM

Lucy's Place was the place that all the officers went on their leave. Around this time of day, it was empty and dead, save for a two boys, a terribly short one, and a tall one. Both were blonde and brown eyed. They kept their hats down over their faces. The shorter one approached the bar and leaned forward. "Is Constance around?" he asked lowly. The bar tender laughed at him and pointed up the stairs. The boy nodded and motioned his friend to follow him. They went up the stair and knocked on the first door to the right. "Come in" a woman said. He opened the door and the woman jumped to her feet. "Well, if it isn't little Danny Davis." She crooned taking his hat.

"Yes, well, I need to ask a favor of you."

"Of course dearest, what is it?" She smiled, then looked to her friend. "or better yet who is it for?" She winked at the taller friend. He stepped back in disgust.

"Actually, for a lady friend of mine. She needs something from General O'Hara, and he refuses to give it to her." Constance snorted. "So, she decied to take it anyway, but he's hiding it in his room. She asked me to distract him."

"Well, I don't work for O'Hara any more. I hardly know what I can do. The idiotic man is such…" she clenched her fist then took a deep breathe. "Of course, I will do it, but there is the matter of my fee." She asked slyly.

Danny nodded. "Yes, I took that into consideration." She pulled a leather purse off her belt loop. It was full of money. "All your really need to do is keep him busy. Tell him your pregnant or something, but don't take him far. Come to the fort tomorrow before around noon. Stand on the far left side of the building, by the parlor window, and wait for my lady's signal (a white handkerchief out the window.) General O'Hara will come out a few minutes later. Keep him busy for as long you can, at least a few hours."

Constance took the bag and weighed it in her hand. "Well, it will hurt him in some way?" She asked still looking at the purse of money. Danny nodded happily. "Of course, sweet heart it would be a pleasure." She curtseyed and the two boys bowed. They left. As they walked down the stairs, the taller boy, who, until now, remained silent, started to ask a question. Danny shushed him and continued walking.

Back at the fort and back in their dresses, the girls were sitting in the parlor. "So she thinks that you're a boy?" Lesley asked Danni who was fiddling with her loose hair. Danni shrugged and began braiding her hair. "How do you keep it up?"

"Well, I rarely go, and Constance is the only one I talk to. She thinks of me as a little 'brother'. That's why they haven't found out." Danni reached over and picked up her teacup. "Anyway, we need to start planning how to get the journal. You know my daddy always said 'fail to plan; plan to fail." She smirked.

"Yea, well I've got one more question before we start our 'big plans'." Danni looked from her tea. "Where did the money come from?" Danni smirked, resembling Tavington.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out."

"All right then, who did you lift it from?" Lesley crossed her arms. Danni shrugged and muttered something. "What I can't hear you?"

She sighed and made a face. "It was my allowance from Cornwallis, the money he gives me to buy dresses and stuff like that." She pulled out a piece of notebook paper and a 21st century ink pen. "Because, I use O'Hara's money so much, mine has accumulated." She pulled a table over and sat the paper down. "All right now, how do we get Tavington his sleeping pill?" She asked no one in particular.

"Are you sure these will work?" Lesley examined the pill then put it down. "I mean, it works for you, but you are smaller, and less accustomed to the medications of this time." Lesley pointed out.

"Are you kidding me? I have a nervous mind when I try to sleep. You, it the pillow and that's it. I listen to the clock ticking in the room and it drives me insane. These things put me out before I know what hit me!" Then she paused. "Besides, O'Hara ticked me off one day and I put a half of these in his tea at lunch. He fell asleep in his food for a good three hours." She smiled ecstatically.

"You're just plain evil." Lesley sat down by the table and looked at the paper. "All right, we want to give Colonel Tavington the tranquilizer, but not in public. " Danni looked up at her. "It would be way to suspicious."

"You're right" She scribbled something down next to Tavington's name on her paper. "So, let's do it in here, cuz we told Constance to wait outside. So we refuse to have tea with the officers, you can tell him that, by the way, and we'll grind up the pill so it dissolves and put it in the tea."

"What, why do I have to be the one to tell him? He hates me." Lesley cried. Danni opened her mouth to say something but Lesley cut her off. "And do you dare say he hates you more. He has to like you if he wants Cornwallis to like him."

"All right, fine, but I'm terrified of him. You can at least defend yourself." Lesley snorted the agreed.

It was some time later after dinner when Lesley and Danni were finished with their plans. The had even synchronized their watches (not that Danni actually wore one). Their plans started around ten in the morning.

10:00 PM

Lesley stretched and yawned. "Wow, who knew plotting makes you so tired?" She asked no one in particular. She was sitting on the floor with Bo in her lap actually reviewing Danni's plans. The other blonde was in Ruthie's room bathing. Lesley had long since finished her bath and was grateful. She smelt something like a dead animal. Excited did not describe how she felt when they opened the door and saw a tub of hot steaming water. For the past few days, she had washed herself using rags and the water basin in the room. Sponge baths weren't the best thing to get clean with. She wrapped herself in a robe then got some fresh underclothes from Danni, which was awkward for reasons aforementioned (such as height, and chest size). She was now wearing some satin pajamas that Danni took from Rosie.

She sighed and got up. As Danni had promised, Bo got his very own bed. He actually wasn't allowed to use as Salem had rule of the roost. The two animals got along very well. There was occasion when a fight would break out, but Since Danni kept her door unlocked and slightly open the animals could leave whenever they please. If the door was open then a passing servant would, as instructed, shut it. She sighed and got into the bed. She called the dog up there and as well as he could Bo got on the bed. She was nearly asleep when she heard the door open. Danni was standing there with her hair in a neon green towel. "I thought we agreed the dog was off the bed."

Lesley opened her eyes slightly. "We did, but you had to get Bo a bed."

"I did" Danni replied as she took the towel off and set it near the fireplace on a rack for drying clothes.

"Nope, your cat took over his bed." Lesley chuckled at the sour expression on Danni's face. "Well good night."

"Night" Danni called back. She stood up, blew out the candles, and got into bed. She immediately fell asleep for the first time in a long time.

TBC...

Well, I still only have one reviewer and that depresses me. (sobs) PLEASE SOME ONE REVIEW! Anyway, I hope you peoples who are reading this liked this chapter. I tried to keep it as funny as possible. The comforting thought about this little minni-sode is IT"S SO SHORT I MIGHT FINISH IT! not that I'm really bad about that anway.  
ROSIE: Yea right, you can't finish anything, it took you a whole year just to finish that one story...  
BABY TURTLE: SHUT UP! chases Rosie around please puhpuhpuhplease reveiw!

As for my wonderful reviewer J.B. Duenweg: Minni sode gotta keep it quick. There is more funny coming up right after these prepaid messages.


	4. Day four

Day 4

It was eight o'clock when any actually activity in the fourth room at the top of the stairs began. It was light enough that there was no need for a candle and the fire had died down ages ago. A heavy feel of excitement was in the air as the girls hurried to get dressed. They were silently giddy, that is what had them up so early. They spent all of yesterday planning what they were going to do and now that the time was actually there, they were going to do it. Lesley brushed her hair then grabbed a hair tie to put it up in a bun. She watched Danni paint her face up in the mirror. Everything had to seam normal, Danni with out make up was abnormal. She prayed that they did not go over the top with the normalness. Some time trying to act as if nothing happened is what gives you away. Danni finished her lipstick and looked at her cat. "Bye Salem, come on Lesley, we have to meet Colonel Tavington for breakfast." Lesley finished her hair as she walked out the door and down the stairs.

Danni stared at her food. She didn't plan on eating it anytime soon. Sighing she pushed it over to Wilkins. The man could eat large amounts of food, but then he was nearly 6' 7'' and a soldier who didn't always have decent meals. Danni silently pitied him. In the 21st century, one could eat whenever they wanted too. She looked to Lesley and mouthed. "Ask him now." Lesley furrowed her brow and wagged her head. Danni nodded.

"No" she whispered.

"YES" Danni shot back. They argued quietly for a few minutes, and then it began escalating. They were shouting saying mean things as they always did. It had become so common for the girls to randomly argue that no one noticed.

"_Great, we're fighting, this is normal._" Lesley thought. She looked to Tavington for a millisecond; he was getting irritated and going to break them up.

"What are you two brats arguing about now?" He asked, standing and crossing his arms. Danni looked at him and felt one inch tall. She had a severe complex about being short, even though she was taller than most women were. Tavington happened to be six feet tall so he just towered over her. Then his piercing gaze would shut her up. She was terrified of him and not afraid to admit it, but only to herself of course. Lesley tensed trying to think of something to say. She was an effective lair when she had time to think about it. She looked to Danni who immediately cut in.

"You don't wanna know." She warned.

"Yes, Miss Davis I think I do." He rolled his eyes.

"No, Colonel Tavington, you don't wanna know." She said.

He gave her a dark pointed look. "If it's important enough for you to argue about it then I'm sure I do want to know."

"All right, but don't say I didn't warn you. I wanted her to ask you a question." Danni said. Then she motioned him to come a little closer. He leaned down so she could whisper in his ear. Tavington shivered and pulled away quickly. "Well, I told you didn't want to know." She shrugged. He took their leave and sat with some different officers.

Lesley looked at him strangely. "What did you say to him?" She asked. Danni just laughed and shook her head. "I am I happier not knowing?" Danni nodded. Then Lesley figured it out and started laughing. There was only one thing that made William Tavington uneasy like that, and it was her way of getting back at him. They sat back down and finished breakfast with Bordon and Wilkins.

Constance Rollins opened her closet and picked out her most conservative outfit for going out. She eyed the leather purse filled with gold and smiled to her. She wondered if her little Danny was in love with this girl so much that he was willing to shell out 300 pounds for her. Of course what could she have with O'Hara, but then that man was a dog and would…. Well she would rather not dwell on the subject. She was happy to oblige Danny in helping his girl. She was really angry and hated O'Hara for leaving her out in the cold. She looked at the clock it was nearly nine. She quickly dressed and started out towards Fort Carolina.

She arrived around ten. She passed two girls walking in the courtyard. Both were blonde-haired women; she approached them. "Excuse me, could you tell me where the parlor is?" She smiled at the two girls.

"Yes, of course" Danni smiled at her "it over to the far side of the courtyard." She pointed. They curtsied to each other and went their separate ways. Constance found a spot where she could sit and see the parlor window. It was a long time before her services would be needed.

"All right go get Tavington." Danni commanded sitting down and pulling out the bottle of pills.

"No, you go get him, I can take care of the pills." Lesley crossed her arms and towered over the girl.

"Lesley, Lesley, Lesley, let me give you an over view of the food chain. There are Whales, sharks and krill." She smiled evilly. "Now, I'm a tiny little krill, you are a shark, who leave the krill alone but still remarkably dangerous." Lesley mulled over the new information and felt satisfied with the comment. "And last, but not least, there are the whales, which in this illustration, represent Tavington. Now as we all know whales eat krill and as I am the krill, I have no desire to be eaten- ever." She took a spoon and ground the pill up then put it in the bottom of his teakettle. "I'll tell you what, we'll play rock paper scissors and then who ever wins 2 out of 3, will go." Lesley agreed. They started playing immediately.

Lesley growled and nearly cussed Danni out "How are you beating me at this?"

"I have a nine year old brother, we play hand games all the time." She grinned at Lesley. "Now, go, I don't want my plans thrown off and it's nearly ten." She pointed firmly. She looked something like Lilly Munster when she was controlling Herman. The height difference was nearly the same. Lesley threw her hands up in defeat and walked down the stairs. She began rehearsing her what she was going to say to Colonel Tavington in her head. She had just made it down the front stairs outside when she ran right into Colonel Tavington and landed smack on her butt.

"HEY You sorry- Oh Colonel" She stammered. Yes, she was an effective liar, but now she saw things from Danni's point of view. The short girl was right, when some one looks a ten feet taller than you do it is terrifying, especially when that some one is Tavington.

"Miss Davis, where is… Miss Davis?" He asked. It sounded stupid in his own ears as he was asking for two different people, unrelated, by the same name.

"I'm right here!" She came to her feet and dusted her skirt off. "Danni's inside, she's not feeling well, if you understand my meaning." Lesley winked at him. He straitened his back. "She was wondering if we could take our tea in the parlor room thingy." She didn't have the hang of the speech of this time. It sounded funny in her ears to speak so formally. In her own time, Lesley would have just told in that Danni was drinking the living room, but she was not in her own time. He nodded and started up the stairs not bothering to hold the door for her. "Jerk" she muttered going into the room on the first floor.

Danni poured Colonel Tavington some tea. She handed the kettle off to Lesley who pretended to trip and spill it all over the table. "Kill joy Lesley, you oaf!" Danni yelled. She jumped to her feet and proceeded to sop up the hot tea. "I can't believe you did that, you dense nimrod."

"HEY, it's not like I did that on purpose! It was hot and you about dropped it in my lap. And who are you calling a nimrod!" She yelled back helping Danni pick up the tea. They continued arguing all the while keeping a wary eye on Tavington. The watched him down the tea. His eyes began to droop close. Pale white lids gently falling over icy blue iris. Slowly, the two girls let their voices get lower and lower until they weren't talking at all. Tavington suddenly felt so sleepy. He had no idea why. Perhaps it was because he had been on a raid the night before, and had very little sleep that week. How could he sleep with so much noise? Tavington settled in his chair and shut his eyes just for a moment; maybe they'd stop on their own.

Danni sighed and whispered to Lesley. "I think he's asleep." Lesley nodded; she went over to the window and opened it. She scanned the crowd of people milling about and spotted Constance in the yard. She reached over to the table and saw Danni about to tap Tavington's forehead.

"What are you doing, you idiot?" She hissed. Danni glared at her as she almost tripped.

"The forehead test." Danni growled. Lesley gave her the "what" look. "If you tap a person's forehead and they don't wake up they are seriously asleep." She went forward with her plans. Both of them held their breath and waited. He fidgeted a little, but in the end, he was fast asleep. Danni waved for Lesley to go ahead and alert Constance. Constance saw her sign and went around to the front. She met up with the valet and told him to fetch General O'Hara. Danni watched from behind the lace curtains that covered the glass in the doors to the parlor and waited for O'Hara to run down the stairs from the library and immediately lead Constance away. "Come on" She waved Lesley to follow her up the stairs.

The approached the hallway and Danni stopped them. "We go in, but we can't come out the front door." Danni said. Lesley nodded. "Aw, crap"

"What?" Lesley watched the door as the valet came out. "Oh, how do we get rid of the penguin." Danni shrugged and looked at Lesley. They approached him carefully pretending to kind and sweet, but with that "I'm going to hurt you" air. "Hey," Lesley started out. "Penguin" The man turned around and looked the girls over.

"Miss Davis, and the other Miss Davis I presume?" He bowed carefully. Lesley smiled sinisterly. "I hope you are up to some good, and don't try to threaten me again Miss Danni, I know that you cannot shoot for a fact." He smirked at her. Danni shrugged.

"Well, actually, O'Hara asked me to tell you that he wanted you to go into town and get him some new stockings."

"What?" He asked disbelievingly. "I only got him some yesterday." Danni shrugged.

"You heard her penguin, MOVE!" Lesley shouted. She reminded Danni of Riddick on Pitch Black. She shook her head. Lesley had been right, no more pop culture references for her. She watched the valet storm off down the stairs muttering about O'Hara being a flower. They waited for him to go out of sight. Finally, Danni pulled a key out of her shirt. "Oh, I'm not touching that, nope, uh-uh." Lesley subconsciously rubbed her hands on her dress. Danni scowled at her.

"Shut up, you want in the room right." She unlocked the door and opened it. "Well, I have Jemina's key since she's out of town." She opened the door to a sitting room.

"Holy crap this isn't a bed room this is a mini house!" Lesley shrieked. She turned around and saw Danni locking the door. "What are you doing?" She hissed. Danni furrowed her brow.

"Will you just trust me? Gosh" She growled. "Look if we get seen going in and out then were caught, but if we're only seen going in… well please tell me how we got out." Danni pointed out. Lesley nodded. "Anyway, if anyone tries to get in we'll know. Come on help me find it." They began destroying the anteroom; turning over chairs and throwing things out of drawers. It all was tono avail.Danni opened the bedroom door and gagged. "I think I'm going to die."

"What?" Lesley came over to her and suddenly just began gagging. "Oh my gosh, so many flowers and pink I'm dying. I see a white light!" She dropped dramatically to the floor and grabbed Danni's dress. Danni just raised an eyebrow at her. "You're supposed to tell me to stay away from the light." Lesley cracked one eye and yanked Danni's dress.

"Get up, you look like an idiot, wait you are." Danni walked into the room and went to the bed. Lesley jumped up to her feet and pretended to hurt. Danni ran her hands over the flowery pink sheet and crooned. "Aw, this bed is really nice. It's really a pity that I hate O'Hara." She ripped the bedding off and threw it to the ground. Lesley smirked and went to the bureau and emptied all of the drawers. She looked over to Danni and saw her pushing the feather tick off the bed. They spent the next thirty minutes searching the room and destroying things. Lesley sighed. She had found nothing. Then her eyes fell to the wardrobe; it was untouched by the two girls in destruct-o mode. She flounced over to the closet and yanked the doors open. She saw several pristine red coats. She looked at them, took all of them out, and dumped them on the ground. "Stomp on these for me please."

"Gladly." Danni stood up and jumped on the clothes. She even tore a few of his shirts and stockings.

"A-ha!" Lesley exclaimed as she moved a plank of wood in the bottom of the wardrobe. "I found it." She held it up. Danni stopped tearing O'Hara's things up. She jerked the book out of Lesley's hands. Danni began reading the first few lines. She snapped it shut.

"EW!" She exclaimed. "I'm never reading that again."

"What?" Lesley asked. She took the book and opened to the middle. She cringed when she saw his flowery writing, more or less what he wrote. "Never mind, but I think I'm scared for life."

Danni sighed. "Should we clean up?" She asked looking at the confounded mess around her.

Lesley clutched the book to her chest. "Nah, let him worry." She looked around. "So how do we get out of here Valley Girl?"

Danni smiled. "That's the ingenious part of my plan." She walked to the wall and pushed the panel open. It was a secret passage way. "I took the liberty of searching the servants passages upon my arrival. That's how I started all this mess." She bade Lesley follow her.

"So, how do you propose we get to O'Hairless?" Lesley inquired. Danni shrugged.

"I would do another Scarlet O'Hara impersonation, but I don't think that would go over very well." She replied picking her way through the stairs. "This is so much easier in blue jeans."

They went back to the parlor and found Colonel Tavington still asleep. Quietly Danni ordered another pot of tea brought up. The servant did so quickly. The girls sat down, poured themselves cups, and pretended nothing happened. "Hey stupid" Lesley nudged him with her toe. "Wake up." She commanded. Tavington started awake.

"What?" He asked groggily.

"Colonel you feel asleep." She informed him.

"For how long?" He sat forward and looked at the clock. It was two pm. Tavington said something under his breathe then took his leave of them. They exhaled in relief; he suspected nothing, for now. Danni sighed.

"I told you those pills would work." She sat back in the chair. Lesley nodded. Danni sighed. "Hey, I got the best idea ever!" She cried.

"Oh no, it's learned to think." Her companion muttered. Danni glared at her. "All right what is your _best_ idea ever?"

"Well it involves you, me, Tavington, and the cheap make up I get made here." Danni leaned forward. Lesley just rubbed her temples. Did this girl ever stop plotting? No, she supposed not. Danni related to her a well-laid plan to embarrass Tavington. Lesley already didn't like the man, so she just went along with it.

It was one am. Two people clad in blue jeans were sneaking across the Dragoon encampment. One was carrying a black satchel with black and white crosshatch beading on it. The other was just repulsed. The looked for the single tent at the head of the encampment, a light was on and a strong silhouette outlined in the canvas. They both waited a moment for there nerves to stop fraying. "All right you know what to do." Danni whispered. Lesley nodded and went over to the man standing guard and incapacitated him. Then she took his gun and fired it. Tavington ran out into the yard minus his shirt. Danni ran into his tent.

"Come on where's the bottle." She muttered under her breath. Then she spied the brown flask. She poured some ground up tranquilizer in there. Then she snuck back out. The girls met in the tree line. "All right-y, everything's set up." Danni murmured.

"How long will it take?" Lesley asked. They watched Tavington's strong dark form enter the tent. He got ready for bed then sat on his cot and drank the whole flask. Lesley's brow furrowed. "what if, and this is just speculation, he wakes up and finds us?" Danni looked at her then smiled.

"I'm going to shove the make up in your hands and take off running like a mad man." She said turning her attention to Tavington. They waited for a little while until there was no more activity in his tent. Carefully, they sauntered up to the tent. Danni looked around as she held up the back flap for Lesley. They both got in and Lesley tapped him on the forehead. Earlier that had been a debate (one which Lesley lost). It seemed Danni was doing the make up and was in the most danger. Danni reached into the bag and pulled out the face powder.

"Where did you get that?" Lesley whispered. She placed her hands on her hips. She had seen Danni's make up bag and the stuff she had was not any of this. Danni turned around and glared at her. She mouthed "I'll tell you later." Lesley backed down a little. She let Danni do the make up. She applied the blush and lipstick. Danni used her own plumper lip-gloss and tried to stifle a giggle as he rubbed his lips. After that, she did the eye make up. First, the white shimmer for the top and underneath the eye then a blue then a grey. Next, she applied the eyeliner and mascara. She took the black bag from Lesley and searched around in the bottom. After a few minutes, she found something small and silver. It was a digital camera.

"That's still has a battery." Lesley stared in amazement. Danni grinned maliciously. She walked over to Tavington, leaned down to take picture. Just as she pressed the button, Tavington woke up.

"WHAT IN THE…" He shouted. The flash went off; it was bright and blinded him. Danni shouted. She grabbed Lesley and dragged her out of the tent. While they were performing the task, Lesley had put the make up back into the bag, so they incriminate themselves. Lesley and Danni reached the fort in record time, laughing and giggling.

"Did you get it?" Lesley panted. Danni nodded and handed her the camera. The taller girl laughed some more. Instead of going into the house, Danni led her around the side to where their bedroom was. "Where are we going?"

"Well, I go out a lot a night, and instead of risking getting caught, I invented this." She reached into a trellis and pulled a string. A long rope ladder unfolded down to them.

"Clever, Valley Girl, especially for you." Lesley remarked climbing up. Danni snorted and followed her up the ladder.

TBC...

Wow, I don't think this is as funny, but I tried to keep it light. My arm hurts, sry, it just my cat attacked it. Anyway, so read and review

SassyBrunette: YAY you review, I wish other people would! Is my writing that bad? sniffles anyway I'm glad you thought it was funny. I like funny, but don't go away there is more funny coming up.


	5. Day five

Day Five

Disclaimer: I own Danni nothing else, Lesley DAvis was used with permision!

The girls woke up early, before anyone was up and got dressed. "I feel rebellious." Danni smirked as she pulled out her pants.

"You are rebellious, sneaking around the city, rope ladders out of your window" Lesley made wide motions with her hands. Danni just looked at her and smiled. She walked over to chest of drawers and pulled out O'Hara's gun. Lesley watched her as she loaded the weapon. Then she realized what she was doing. "Like heck your not!" She yelled. Lesley dove across the room and snatched the weapon out of Danni's hands. "I don't trust you with fire arms, matches, or sharp objects." She emptied the chamber and placed the bullet in Danni's hand. "I also don't trust you with any documents of important information." Lesley paused to think. "Oh, and make up, I would rather shoot myself then let _you _around me with make up."Danni snorted.

"Fine, but it would terrify O'Hara more if I had a fire arm" She pouted. Lesley shook her head. "You're mean."

"And you're devious, now come on." Lesley put the gun in the back of her pants. They went down the stairs and looked at the empty hallways. They approached the library and Danni pulled out her key. It was the same one from yesterday. She opened the door. "How is that the same key?" Lesley asked.

"Skeleton Key" Danni responded. "And not like the movie." She rolled her eyes sitting in Cornwallis's chair. Danni propped her feet up. Lesley saw the rocking chair. She smirked at it and had fond memories. Lesley sat down and the girls waited for their prey.

O'Hara walked down the hall. He had an extra spring in his step this morning. Although his room had been ransacked, he had found comfort in his latest lady friend Avalon. The general opened the door to the Library and saw a boy sitting in his chair. His hat pulled over his face. "WHAT is the meaning of this?" He shouted. The boy looked up at him and smiled.

"Good Morning General" Danni said looking at him over the top of her Birkenstocks.

"MISS DAVIS this is an out rage!" He shouted. His pallid completion turned bright burgundy red. Danni sighed.

"Stow it, you stupid little mamma's boy" She stood up and leaned on the desk. "I'm telling you, Lesley, you'd think some one would have shot this man already, just out of sheer kindness to the human race!" Danni turned to her companion. Lesley leaned up against the wall and crossed her arms.

"Now, Danni," She chided. O'Hara felt completely sure that Lesley was going to defend him- fat chance. "You can't call him a man. That's insult to men." Lesley smirked.

Danni sniggered. "Well, Lesley, I can't call him a woman, it would insult us." They let out some laughs. "But on to bigger and better things." Danni reached into a drawer in the desk. She pulled out a small leather bound book. O'Hara's blue eyes went wide with realization. "You know, General, Lesley and I think that you shouldn't keep your things in such an obvious place." Danni waved the book. His eyes jumped between the two girls.

"You two were the ones who broke into my room." He shouted. "Give me back my journal, Miss Davis and I won't tell Cornwallis." He held out his hand. Lesley just started laughing at him.

"You know what, I read one page of what you've written. I think this could possibly interest Lord Cornwallis." She smirked at him.

He seemed defeated. O'Hara already knew that she wasan expert atblackmail."What do you want?"

"Not much for now, just the whereabouts of Lesley personal effects." Danni placed the leather bound journal on the desk again.

"I refuse to tell you such- he was cut off when the barrel of his own pistol pressed against his temple.

Lesley made a buzzer noise. "Wrong answer, would you care to try again?" She pushed the metal into his head.

"I…I…" Danni cut him off and started pouting.

"Aw, Lesley," Danni pouted. "I thought you said I could hold the gun!" She exclaimed coming around the desk and grabbing an apple in the process. She winked at Lesley who smiled. "Give me the gun" Danni commanded. Lesley placed the gun into her hands and Danni squealed. "All right, well I need to practice my shooting, well, actually I need to learn." She placed the apple on top of his head. "Now stand still and I might not miss." She said backing him against the wall. She loaded the gun and took some aim.

Lesley watched O'Hara quiver and shake. He was sweating profusely. Danni took her aim and leaned on the trigger. The next thing the girls new; General O'Hara was lying on the ground. "You killed him."

"No," Danni responded. "Not with our luck. The man's like a freaking energizer bunny, no matter how hard you try he always keeps going." She looked at the end of the barrel.

"Oh my, that's nasty!" Lesley exclaimed. Danni stopped her inspection and looked interestedly at Lesley.

"What?"

"O'Hara wet himself." Lesley took to giant steps back.

"Oh, goodness, I knew he was a pansy, but this is just disgusting." Danni rolled her eyes. She sat on the desk and reached into a drawer. "Here" She pulled something out of it. "Put these under his nose." She tossed a jar to Lesley, who caught it. "They're smelling salts, Jemina keeps a large supply around at all times." Lesley nodded and put medical thing under his nose. He started awake.

"All right, General, enough play time." Lesley grabbed his shirt collar and slammed him against the wall. "Where are my things?" O'Hara stammered. Lesley gave him a heavy shake. "TELL ME!" She screamed, rattling his head back and forth. Danni walked over to Lesley and placed a hand on her arm.

"All right, Calm down, he needs those last brain cells, that is ifhe has any." Danni said. "Look General, if you tell us, I'll think about giving you your little book back."

"It's in the supply tents!" He shouted. Lesley dropped him and Danni gathered the girls' effects.

"Aren't going to give me my journal?" He asked.

"Nah," Danni shrugged. O'Hara balked. "Don't call me a lair either, I said would 'think about it' not that I would." She said over her should walking away.

The two girls went into the hall and the first thing Danni did was run into something solid. It was Colonel Tavington. He looked angry. "EPP!" Danni squeaked. She jumped to her feet and ran behind Lesley. "DON'T EAT ME!" She exclaimed. The two taller beings just looked at her incredulously.

"Where have you two been?" He ground out.

"Harassing O'Hara" Lesley jerked her thumb towards the embarrassed man making a spectacle of himself trying not to be seen. Tavington smirked.

"Finally," he muttered. "Anyway, carry on" He brushed passed them and continued on his way to the kitchen.

Danni watched in amazement. "Was Colonel Tavington actually nice to us just now?" Lesley nodded thoughtfully.

"_He's hot coming and going_." Lesley thought.

"AHHHH! Bad mental image! Oh it burns! It burns!" Danni screamed randomly. Lesley gave her a strange look. "DO NOT, I repeat, do not ever think aloud EVER again!" She stormed away muttering something about needing a physiatrist. Lesley rolled her eyes and followed her friend.

Two girls clad in blue jeans, un-tucked men's shirt, and boy's hats stood a good ways away from the supplies tents. They were standing behind a large tree. "All right how do we get in?" Lesley asked as she turned back to Danni. Danni shrugged. "What? You don't know!" She exclaimed in a low voice. "I thought that you were an evil genius."

"Evil Mastermind, very subtle yet large difference." Danni made a wide motion. "It's sort of like jumping and falling. You know big difference!" Danni hissed.

"Well, whatever, what are we going to do? We need a distraction."

Danni shrugged. "Hey, I've got an idea take your shirt off and run around." Suddenly, her head bobbed forward. "Hey, what was that for?" She rubbed the back of her head.

"Why," Lesley asked leaning her back against the tree. "Would I run around with out my shirt?" She rolled her eyes.

"You've got a better body than I do." Danni said matter-of-factly.

"Well your boobs are bigger." Lesley pointed out.

"HEY" Danni said irritated. "I thought we agreed that you weren't noticing that anymore." She ground out. "All right you go incapacitate him and then we'll get the stuff." Danni suggested. Lesley nodded and she was about to run off. "Oh, wait, never mind we need to get the information out of one of them, because it would look suspicious if all the regimentals were to wind up passed out." Lesley nodded.

"Well, I've got an idea." Lesley showed Danni the firearm they still had with them from their previous harassment of O'Hara. Danni nodded and followed her out into the camp.

Private Marcus Taylor was nervous. There were rumors about men just randomly dropping dead in the middle of the watch. It was nearly dark. Taylor fidgeted for a few minutes. Then he felt like something was watching him. He shivered and tried to shake the feeling off. He waited for a few minutes then began turning around slowly, surveying the area. When he was finally facing forward, he felt a gun press to his temple. Then a breathe on the back of his neck. "Do you know what happens to good boys when bad girls get a hold of them?" It was decidedly feminine and whispered low into his ear. "They get hurt." She exhaled. He tried to turn around

Then another voice breathed on him. "You have some information which is very important to us." He shivered. "There was a load brought in by a continental Militia two days ago." He felt something grab his arm. "Where is it?" He stammered and quivered. "Tell us or we'll shoot you."

He pointed to the end of the tents' line. "There, the last one. The stuff, it's in the back." He squirmed.

"Thank you ever so much." The coldness of the barrel pulled away from his head. He tried to turn around. "Don't turn around." She said. Private Marcus Taylor was not terrified, but now petrified. In the distance, the laughs of two girls could be heard.

"Aw that was great!" Danni giggled. "I swear he was going to wet his knickers!"

Lesley nodded in agreement. "Come on Valley girl lets get my stuff. I want to get some real sleep, we've been up late the past few nights." They entered into the tent through the back of the flap. They could see two guards standing outside so they suppressed the round of joyful giggles when they uncovered all of Lesley effects. The two scuttled back to the fort. It was nearly dinner time and the girls entered the kitchen. There stood Colonel Tavington. "Eek!" Danni screamed. She nearly dropped the stuff she was carrying. "Colonel Tavington, what are you doing in here?" She asked turning her back and unloading everything on Lesley. He opened his mouth to say something, but Danni cut him off. "I was just wondering; do you know anything about er Mesothemoma or what ever." He arched an eyebrow. "Didn't think so, well I'll tell you what, Lesley can go do something with her stuff and I can tell you all about it." She started shoving him out of the kitchen while motioning Lesley to go up the stairs through the servants' corridors.

That night before bed Lesley and Danni were going over all of Lesley's things trying to make sure everything was there. "All right, we have all the hand weapons." She walked over to the crates. Danni zoomed over there and pried the tops off.

"Holy Poo on rye bread toast this is sooo cool. I'm actually in the presence of one the-

"Danni Davis, if you touch one of those things so help me I'll take it and beat you with it." Lesley glared at her. Danni put her hands up as if she was being arrested. "Good now step back and fix your hair or something."

"Oh, you're just jealous." Danni crossed her arms and changed her clothes for bed. "Hey, now, tomorrow, we can put it somewhere safe, then harass O'Hara some more." Danni suggested. She got into the bed and patted the stop for Salem to sleep. Lesley nodded and changed for bed.

"Night Danni"

"Night Lesley" They blew out their respective lights and fell asleep.

TBC…

Oh look, it's another chapter! Would some one please review! Anyway, if anyone can find my second pop culture reference in here I'll give them a cookie. Here's a hint: it's a time travel movie that involves a man who plays the opposite of a woman who plays the opposite of a man who plays the opposite of a volleyball... if that's isn't giving it away I don't know what is! Anyway I'm almost done, only two more chapters left in the story.

SassyBrunette: Can't and/or won't think about the errors in this one. I hope you find this just as funny.


	6. Chapter 6

Day Six

7:00 AM, Lesley was asleep very soundly. She was having pleasant dream about strangling Tavington while laughing manically, brandishing her weapon at O'Hara. Suddenly, she felt something nudge her. Lesley cracked one brown eye and saw Danni, bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Why are you awake?" Lesley moaned.

She began singing. "Good Morning, Good Morning, it's time to rise and shine, Good Morning, Good Morning hope you're feeling fine! Get up, get up get out of bed get up get up- AHH!" Danni fell ungracefully off the bed. Her cat screamed and Bo started howling. "What was that for?" She growled sitting up and leaning on the bed.

"You know what Davis, if you weren't a meal ticket, I'd clobber you!" Lesley groaned burring her face the pillow. Danni giggled. She hit Lesley with a pillow, but she missed and hit Bo instead. The dog stood up on the bed. He barked loudly then growled. "BO!" Lesley shouted. "DOWN!" The dog looked to his mistress then got off the bed. "Davis, leave me alone or I will be forced to hurt you." Lesley rolled over and went back to sleep. Danni sat on the floor and looked a little crestfallen. She opened her mouth. "Shut up" Lesley demanded.

"Will you get out of bed?" Danni stamped her foot indignantly.

"Will you drop dead?" Lesley threw the pillow at her. Danni ducked and stuck her tongue out.

"I'll sit on you if you don't get up!" Danni threatened, marching purposefully up to the bed. Lesley turned her eye towards Danni and gave her a devil glare. The blonde backed down and went into the center of the room.

. Danni snorted and saw the crates lying around the room. She waited a few minutes before she began taunting Lesley. "Hey, Lesley" Danni said as she pulled the lid off the crate. "Do you remember when you told me that you didn't trust me with all that stuff?" Danni asked off handedly.

Lesley sighed into her pillow. "Yes" she hissed.

"Well does that include nuclear war heads?" Lesley groaned and told Danni to jump in the lake. Danni just snorted. Then she got the most devious idea. "Hey Lesley"

"WHAT" The girl still lying in the bed screamed.

"Why are the numbers blinking?" Danni asked innocently. "Oh, look-it, it's counting down." Lesley's eyes grew wide and she jumped from the bed.

"Davis, what in the heck did you do?" She was across the room in a matter of minutes. She pushed Danni away from the crate and found everything to be perfectly normal. She growled and glared at Danni.

Danni began laughing uncontrollably. "I got you out of bed!" She shouted pointing at Lesley. Lesley straitened herself and balked a little.

"Yeah, well Davis, meal ticket or not, I've got one word for you." Danni stopped laughing and looked at her curiously. "Run" Lesley commanded. She dove for Danni, but the blonde-haired woman scuttled backwards and knocked down the vanity chair. Lesely quickly recovered herself and watched Danni jerk the door open and run down the hall yelling. She hardly waited a minute before Lesley gave into a hot pursuit. The two ran up and down the halls, still in their pajamas, the servants jumped out of way. They stared at them. It was still early in the morning, so very few people were awake. Some of them opened their doors, watched Danni running in her silken pajama pants, and oversized orthodontics shirt she got when she got her braces. Lesley was in a muscle shirt and sweat pants. They were running until THONK. Danni was suddenly on the ground staring up at Captain Adam Wilkins.

"Miss Davis!" He exclaimed bending down to help her back to her feet. Danni failed her arms wildly pointing behind her. The next thing she knew, Wilkins was on top of her. Lesley was on top of him. She gagged and failed her arms some more.

Lesley watched Danni fumble down the hall and run into Wilkins. She smiled to herself and increased her speed a little. Much to her dismay, Lesley lost her footing and tripped. She went flying across the narrow hallway. She rammed into Wilkins who fell on top of Danni. Lesley just smiled. She knew that Wilkins was probably crushing the devious little brat, but that seemed a fitting punishment for waking her up early. "Lesley, get off!" Danni shouted she failed her arms accidentally hitting Wilkins in the head. Lesley just smiled like the cat that ate a whole flock of canneries. She sat on top of them and waited for Danni to start wheezing. "You're crushing my ribs with your big fat body, Lesley!" She screamed. Lesley finally got up at Wilkins request. The two girls started back to their bedroom to get ready for the day.

"So what are we gonna do today?" Lesley asked as Danni brushed her hair.

"Well first we need to hide your stuff because they will come looking for it. I was thinking of annoying O'Hara." Danni shrugged as she put her hair in a loose bun on the top of her head. "But what ever you wanna do."

"Yea, well that sounds like a good idea." Lesley walked over to the basin and began brushing her teeth. "Do you have any ideas where we could put it?" Danni nodded as she put on her foundation.

"Of course, I am the evil master mind around here." She beamed. "Well," Danni got up and with a dramatic flourish pushed back a hidden panel. "I was thinking we could put it in the servants passage."

Lesley raised an eyebrow and looked at Danni. "Er, wouldn't the servants get to it?"

"Nup" Danni smiled as she lifted a crate. "I boarded it up."

"Er, why?" Lesley helped her. Thus far Danni had been correct in everything she had said and done, so Lesley trusted her.

Danni grunted as she set the crate down. "There were to many servants accidentally coming in at inopportune moments." Lesley opened her mouth. Danni walked to get the next crate. "And before you ask, yes they were all men, and it bothered me."

It took a few minutes, but Lesley and Danni got everything, but her duffel bag into the other room. They sat down and stared at the panel. Danni got up and pulled it back into place. "Well now that's taken care up, what do you wanna do?" Lesley asked leaning on her fist.

Danni shrugged. "Well there's nothing really to do but harass O'Hara around here so that sounds like fun." She said as she went to reapply her lipstick. "But what ever you wanna do."

Lesley pulled her shoulder length hair into a low ponytail. "That sounds like a good idea" She looked at the grin Danni was giving her in the mirror. There was only one way to shoot her down. "Well, I think that it's only fair that we annoy Colonel Tavington also." She smiled. "Of course you get that honor." Danni glared at her evilly.

"Do I need to go through the food chain again?" She asked. Lesley groaned.

"Not that shark thing again."

Danni scowled at her. "Well I just have to think of a new one." She paused and did her eyeliner then looked at Lesley in the mirror. "Oh, I got one. In the desert, you have the cute little mice, which is me, and then there's you, the snake, which eats the mouse. Lastly we have the hawk, Tavington which swoops down and eats us all." She made a wide swooping motion and it turned into a stroke of Salem's black fur.

"Well, you get Tavington. You have social immunity and he's always been evil." Lesley said. She went over to the jewelry box and pulled out a ring. "Do you care if I borrow one of these?" Danni shook her head. They stood outside the door and listened for a moment. Inside, Danni heard several women crooning over O'Hara. She waved Lesley into the room. Lesley put some eye drops in her eyes. She burst through the door. "CHARLES O'HARA!" She wailed. The crowd of women parted and Lesley approached him. She could see the fear in his eyes. O'Hara knew how ruthless she could be. With a heavy hand, she slapped him hard across the face. So hard in fact he spilt his tea down the front of his pristine shirt. "How could you, after all these years, and you- **_you_** leave me alone, in the gutter with not so much as a letter!" She looked at him venomously then through a Cheshire grin to Danni under her hair. She stormed to the back of the room. Danni took her cue and entered. She singled out Tavington on her radar and approached him. She tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and Danni just laid a heavy slap on him. The sound of skin meeting skin for a second time made the room go deathly quite.

Tavington recoiled like snake. His eyes pierced into Danni who just took a few steps back. "I told you that if you ever did that again would public humiliate you."

"Did what?" He questioned grinding his teeth. Danni noticed his grip on the teacup grow tighter. She could only imagine his hands around her throat and subconsciously rubbed her neck. "Miss Davis, I asked a question."

Danni felt about a half an inch tall. She shivered. "Colonel Tavington, you traumatize me then expect me to ably function in your presence." She sniffed as if she were going to cry. Danni knew that she had the support of several older ladies who kept close eyes on their daughters, especially if said Tavington fascinated said daughters. She could sense their concerned mothering skills kicking in. She looked Lesley who nodded for her leave. Danni pretended to heave a sob and excuse herself. They left the parlor and ran up the stairs. "Come on let's change I know they'll be after us in a minute." Danni said. It took them a minute but Danni was in (and had Lesley) in the habit of wearing blue jeans under the dresses. It was more uncomfortable, but it made for faster changing should the occasion arise. She was about to open the door when a loud knock reverberated through the door.

"Miss Davis" it was Colonel Tavington. Danni could almost see the anger in his eyes as he leaned against the door. "Miss Davis are you in there?" Danni shook her head to Lesley. She went to the window and opened it quietly as she could. She pulled a string attached to the window and her stepladder rolled out. She motioned Lesley to follow her. The thinner blonde nodded. She took the vanity chair and braced against the door. Quickly, they scuttled down the ladder and on to the ground. Danni pulled a string and the ladder went up like blinds. Lesley smirked and they took off running across the courtyard.

The girls didn't get very far however. Lesley nearly ran into General O'Hara's little snitch, Morton Bossworth. He as a small greasy little man with yellow teeth, and he gave Danni the creeps. "Well 'ello girlies" He gabbed Lesley arm. Lesley just stared at his grubby hand. "It seems that General O'ara 'as been looking for you." He smiled showing off his yellow uneven teeth. Danni visibly cringed when he touched her. "Now be good li'le girlies and come wit' Morty." He tried to pull them along, but Lesley would have none of it.

"Yeah right." She grabbed him and threw him across the courtyard. Danni watched with a mild amused interest. "All right let's go." Danni followed her friend's lead.

It was much later, and the two girls dressed in pants were hiding in the larder of the fort kitchen. Both had spent the majority of the day playing a cat and mouse game with one of the most deadly men and the world's most prissy one. Currently the latter was scouring the kitchen for them, trying to look inconspicuous. He tried to check the larder, but Danni had developed friendly relationships with most of the kitchen staff. He gave a girly growl and left. Danni snickered as the opened the door and walked passed the servants corridors. She and Lesley were suddenly pushed behind the long floor length cloth hiding the passage. "Quick hide in here, the Colonel is coming."

Lesley cracked the curtain ever so slightly that she could see out. Sure enough, Colonel Tavington stood in the kitchen trying to intimidate the cook with his blue heavy gaze. No such luck, Cook liked Danni and she liked Lesley even better. The two girls could hardly keep from laughing, as he got irritated. Then O'Hara walked in the kitchen.

The two officers greeted each other with polite hatred. "Colonel Tavington, I was wondering if you had seen Miss Davis, either of them really." O'Hara asked trying to seem high and mighty.

"No, I haven't" Tavington replied. He tried to keep himself from running O'Hara through with his weapon. They exchanged a little more.

"It would be such a good joke if we could chain those two together." Danni snickered and watched as they both tried to exit the same door at the same time.

"I've got a pair of handcuffs in my duffel bag upstairs." Lesley looked down at her friend. Danni was smiling manically.

"Come on, let's go get them." She turned off towards the corridor and ran up the stairs.

They went in Ruthie's room and then crossed over into Danni's room. Lesley went over to the bed and pulled her duffel bag out from underneath it. "So how exactly are we going to get them cuffed together?" Lesley asked as she scoured her bag.

"Easily enough, they'll be together some time this afternoon. Then I'll distract them and you just cuff them together." Danni shrugged. Lesley grabbed the cuffs and got the key out of a compartment. She put it in her pocket and they went back down the stair. It was easy to find the two men. They were in the courtyard, searching the brush. Danni took the long way around, she stood a few feet away and whistled. They didn't turn around, so she failed her arms a little. Still nothing. Danni placed her hands on her hips and gave an exasperated sigh. "HEY STUPIDS!" She yelled, that got their attention. Tavington took a few long strides and O'Hara was not very far behind. While they both decided to blow up at Danni, neither one thought about the fact that Lesley was nowhere to be seen. (Which in retrospect, Tavington said he should have been clued in about those little blonde girls. They travel in packs like wolves.) Danni didn't wait for him to be done ranting and using many inappropriate explicative, be for she looked at their wrists.

"You know Colonel as interesting as all that sounds." She said nonchalantly. "Check the wrist." She commanded pointing to her own wrist. Tavington and O'Hara got quizzical looks on their faces. They lifted their wrists and found them to be handcuffed together. O'Hara faltered and fell down taking Tavington with him. Lesley appeared and began howling with laughter. She high-fived Danni. "You know Colonel it's not that bad, once you think about it." She leaned down to speak lowly to him. "You and the General here could really use some bonding time." She snorted. Tavington's arm jutted out and grabbed her collar.

"Uncuff us or I'll rip your heart out and make you eat it." He threatened.

Danni smirked at him. She was taller now and it gave her a sense of proportion. "not likely." With that she loosed herself of his grip and walked away.

"Oh," Lesley said over her shoulder. "Around nine o'clock tonight come find us and I'll let you out." They walked away cackling.

The two girls went to the barn instead of the fort. "So what are we going to do?" Danni asked.

"We're going to let Tavington's prized horse out." Lesley explained. "Hopefully he'll go running after it and then oh my." She opened the pen of the brown gelding. The horse neighed as the approached. Lesley didn't realize, however, that Tavington's horse really only took commands from him. "Go on, shoo." She exclaimed. The horse just stood there. He refused to budge. Even when Lesley smacked his butt, he just turned around and bit her. "OW!" She jumped back into the empty stall. "Stupid horse!" She growled nursing her wounded hand.

"Well," Danni said failing her arms wildly. "That really worked." She growled sarcastically. "Come on, I've got a better idea and it's almost tea time."

"what has tea time got to do with anything?" Lesley asked still nursing her hand.

"Well it would look funny if Tavington and O'Hara were cuffed up in polite society. Then we could make innuendos and stuff like that." Lesley liked the idea, but it meant getting back in the horrid dress again.

It was teatime. There were several ladies milling about crooning over the officers. Danni and Lesley walked in with an air of triumph. In the back little corner sat Tavington and O'Hara. They immediately spied their predators and made an attempt to run. It was very wonderful thing for the girls. They were excited as the approached the two men sitting sulkily. "Hey boys." Danni greeted overly cheerful.

"Miss Davis, as I said earlier I will hurt you if you come near me." Tavington ground out glaring into his tea. She snorted.

"And as I said earlier I would love to see you try." She smirked. Lesley noticed a girl walking up and nudged Danni. "And here comes our first victim." She smiled. It Elizabeth Smith, she had the worst crush on O'Hara and was so ditzy she didn't know how to hide.

"Hello General O'Hara" She giggled. He stood up and jerked Tavington up with him. "Oh, hello Colonel Tavington" Her voice less cheery now, "Miss Davis and Miss Davis." She curtsied to them. "General O'Hara would you care to join me in taking a turn about the room." She asked smiling coyly.

"Well, yes of course but er…. The matter of the thing is…" O'Hara stammered. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Danni and Lesley's eyes dance with sadistic glee. "Well, if you don't mind if Colonel Tavington joins us, then I would love to." He threw a look in the girls' direction, but Lesley just shrugged. They would make the best of any situation.

"Yes, of course" Eliza's voice had little enthusiasm if any at all. They walked around the room and no matter how many times she tried to walk in between them, Tavington would move so she couldn't. He saw Danni and Lesley conspiring in the corner. He knew this wouldn't be good. Lesley stood up and walked to the other side of the room. She cast him a sly glance then perched herself with several other regular officers. Then Danni went and stood by the small group of dragoons in the room. "Colonel Tavington, would you come here." The room was small enough that no one would think her shouting improper.

"General O'Hara, I need you." Lesley said from the other side of the room. The two men looked at each other and then at the girls. Tavington stood there but they just kept calling.

"Colonel, General" Finally, he just sighed.

"Come on you stupid little pansy let's go." He dragged O'Hara out of the room with little regard to the people he shoved out of his way.

It was much later, after the scandal at the tea and Danni and Lesley were sitting in their room just laughing. "Oh, look it's seven, maybe we should go find them and torment them some more." Danni offered. Lesley nodded. They put their dresses back on (much to Lesley dismay) and went out the door. They two spent the better part of the hour searching when they found them. The Colonel stood a few feet away, alone. Lesley caught on quickly, but it took Danni a moment. "How did, but that- WE HAD THE STUPID IDIOT KEY!" She shrieked.

Tavington held up the hand cuffs and smirked devilishly at them. "Well, Miss Davis, it seems that I'm very good friends with the town smith."

"You have a friend" Danni crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll believe that when I see it." There was a slight nod of Tavington's head, Lesley caught it and turned around in time to see O'Hara grab Danni. Tavington grabbed Lesley and she began a long slew of curse words. She even made some up. Lesley didn't have time for this. She used her Karate to immobilize Tavington. He doubled over in pain. Danni followed suit and kicked O'Hara. She took off running the best she could with her dress and heels. Lesley did the same.

"You take her and I'll get Danni." Tavington ordered his superior.

"But, Lesley is stronger." O'Hara pouted. Tavington looked over his shoulder at him.

"Exactly" He took off running. He saw the end of Danni's dress as she rounded the corner. "_This is going to be too easy." _He thought as he rounded the same corner, only to run into a tree branch. He stumbled backwards slightly and growled. He was going to hurt that girl.

Lesley was having a time running in her dress. She ran into the fort and found herself lost. She tried to remember which way to Danni's room with very little success. She had no idea who was chasing her, probably Tavington since he was stronger. Lesley unlocked the door with the spare key Danni gave her. The door swung open and revealed….

Danni finally made it around the fort again. She didn't see Colonel Tavington anywhere. She heaved a heavy sigh of relief as she pulled the string for her little ladder to come down. She began climbing it, but something didn't seem right. She looked down and fought that momentary feeling of vertigo. Tavington was climbing up after her. She squeaked and tried to climb faster no such luck. She began yelling at her dress and shoes. She kicked them off narrowly missing Tavington's head. She launched herself into open window.

Lesley stood in the door way to shocked to run. How had O'Hara gotten her before she had? She said something nasty under her breathe and entered.

"Hello Miss Davis, the Colonel and Danni should be joining us soon."

"How in the heck did you get in here before me?" She failed her arms and prepared to attack him.

"Well, Miss Danni isn't the only one who know all the servants passages, and you did get lost." He informed her coolly looking at his nails, almost with a feminine quality. Then Danni fell in through the window. She startled everyone.

"What in the devil!" She shouted still to stunned to get in the whole way. "That's it I'm changing my locks." The next thing she knew she was lying on the ground and a dark shadow was looming over her. "Oh snap!"

Tavington entered the room and pushed Danni to her feet. He felt like shooting something namely two girls with the same name. "You two have been very naughty and when Cornwallis gets back I will inform of everything." O'Hara gave a smug little look and Tavington rolled his eyes.

"In the mean time I have boots that need polishing."

Lesley crossed her arms. "I don't do boots." She said with a daring little challenge. She had no fear of the trouble she could possibly get in. Tavington was about take her up on that challenge, but Danni cut in.

"Lesley, would you mind reminding me what we have been doing the past few days?" Danni asked in a sing-song voice. Lesley thought about it for a moment and beamed.

"Getting information to blackmail these two with" She replied.

"So you see, I know all about your love of make up and even have it documented."

Tavington balked then glared at her willing her to blow up. "No one will believe you."

"Oh really" Lesley cut in. "Are they going to believe mean ugly you, or sweet innocent us?" Lesley smiled.

Danni felt that her extra two cents was needed. "So don't think we won't tell Cornwallis you're a cross-dresser and O'Hara you already know what I could tell Cornwallis."

Lesley tied things up with a dramatic wave of her arms. "The door is open gentlemen, so please exit." The two men left grumbling. Lesley swore she heard Tavington swear revenge on them. She just kicked him in the butt making him fall down the stairs.

It was late, nearly midnight before the girls went to sleep. They had no plans of getting up early the next morning either.So the moon wished two blondes, a cat, and a dog, all in the same bed a very good night. It was nearly finished.

TBC...

Guess what only one more chapter! Doens't that make you happy? It does me! At any rate no one seems like this story, I think it's a good story and J.B and Sassybrunette think so also. Sorry if any one seems out of character. I was half way through when I realized LESLEY Dangerous she would do some serious pain impaliment and other evil things... but ah me... keep the story light. No one ever answered my question which dpressed me greatly. Anyway who's in favor of a BAby turtle Charlie and the Chocolate factory story... meh not many anyway... Review!  
Go check out JB Duenweg's new story Shanghi Dragoons!

Sassy Brunette: You still don't have that story up... well as I am writing this you don't anyway I didn't think this chapter was very funny but you might have another opinoin(sp?)  
JB Duenweg: Love the new story and I reviewed because I'm nice! anyway your nice too because you review... hey that ryhmes! Anyway glad you liked it. but don't feel sorry for O'HAra he's jerk!


	7. Final Day

Day Seven the final Day

As you people recall the story is entitled One Week seven days seven chapters this is the final chapter. At any rate here we go.

The next day it was 10 in the morning before Danni and Lesley even remotely stirred. The week had been exhausting and they just wanted to lay like broccoli and vegge. Bo actually got them out of bed. He needed to go out for a walk. Lesley groaned and didn't bother to get dressed. She just grabbed a long over coat Danni had in the closet and a rope to attach to Bo's collar. She walked him. Lesley returned when Danni was up and getting dressed. "So what are we going to do with evil little selves today?" Lesley asked. She yawned and sat down in a chair.

"I was thinking of doing nothing… Today's Sunday and we don't have an escort to church." Danni shrugged. "Unless you want to go?" Lesley shook her head. They didn't talk for a while, just lazed around the room fiddling with stuff. Danni got out a sketch book and did a quick drawing of Lesley. She was not remarkably talented but it made for entertainment. Lesley thumbed through the Harlequin Romance book; it hardly interested her.

"You know what," Danni said off handedly. She was sitting on the floor with her back to the bed and Bo across her feet. Lesley was lying across the bed with Salem over her back.

"Hmm?"

"You probably never watched this show, but Elliot from Law and Order SVU is seriously hot."

Lesley mulled over the new information. "Yea, he is; kinda looks like Tavington."

Danni laughed and looked up at her. "Yeah, I guess, only that guy is so much hotter." They snickered. "But at any rate, the television is something I miss about the 21st century."

"Yes, it keeps you from reading these books and going insane." Lesley got up and looked out the window. "I mean, how can you read that crap?"

Danni stood up and her back popped in multiple places. Lesley cringed. "Yeah, I know, but on a long trip these and Lori Wick are my best friends." Lesley looked out into the yard and smiled as the soldiers milled around the courtyard. They were heedless of what was to come, how the times were going to change and everything else that was going to come in the near and distant future. It truly was a sobering thought. She looked at the room around her. It was like a private getaway from the reality that was war. Danni was annoying her cat with a piece of string. "So what do you do for fun when your not tormenting people?" Danni shrugged.

"Nothing really, sit around, doodle, be bored typical stuff." She replied petting her cat. It attacked her and she jerked back. "Fat head." She pushed his head. "So how did you get here?" Danni asked. They exchanged stories and sat around for a little while.

"So," Lesley started as she looked at Danni pointedly. "What's your real name?"

"Danni" She retorted.

"no it's not, come on it's not like I'm going to tell anyone." Lesley begged mockingly. Danni shook her head. "What were you raped or something and feel like you have to butch up?"

She just gave her a pointed little look. "No" She snorted. "I come from suburbia." Lesley nodded thoughtfully. "What about you, I mean I get the whole daddy's a mobster thing, but honestly, you don't strike me as the mob type." Lesley shrugged. She just continued playing with Danni's lipstick, rolling it up and back down. "All right, well this is boring…" Danni got up and walked around the room. "hey, what's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you?" Lesley just began laughing.

"Look, you're delicate little ears couldn't handle it." She chortled. Danni just shivered. "Actually, his name was Ben Martin." She smiled at the memory.

"The Ben Martin!" Danni spun around and cringed. "Ew, that's worse than the bedroom thing with O'Hara and Tavington." Lesley laughed. "He's old!"

"So is Tavington" Lesley pointed out. "and I thought you like guys with black hair and blue eyes."

"Yea, I do, but I've seen Martin in history books, yuck much?" Danni asked.

Lesley began laughing loudly. "You sounded like a really Valley girl?"

Danni glared at her. She took her voice a pitch higher. "Like really? That is so like totally weird, because I like am so like totally not."

Lesley raised an eyebrow. "You do that a little too well." Danni laughed at her friend. "So, what about you?"

"What about me, like I said I lived in a neighborhood where nothing 'cept maybe the occasional suicide, happened." Danni sat down on the bed and turned upside down. Lesley raised an eyebrow. "I went to a small Christian school. Rosie, Ruthie, and me made up the majority of our class." She shrugged. "Well, once, it was the first snow of the season and we were all outside playing. Now, mind you, the girls wear knee length skirts and I was knee-socks that day (don't recommend that). Some one chased me with a snow ball and I tripped. My skirt went over my head." Danni said blushing with embarrassment. Lesley fell on the floor laughing. Then she got pelted in the face pillow. Danni began giggling. They had a small pillow fight.

"You know what, I never had a normal childhood." Lesley said flopping backwards into the vanity chair. "I didn't really get to do the girlfriend thing. I don't know what Cornwallis is going to do about me, but this has been fun."

"Yea, it's cool to have some one to be devious with once and while. Plus, you're not scured of Tavington." Lesley rolled her eyes. "Hey, the man intimidates me!" Lesley chuckled. "All right, what do you miss the most about the 21st century?"

Lesley thought long and hard. "It's a toss up between gasoline for my Bronco and indoor plumbing." She said the first part with a little tear coming to her eye.

"Yea," Danni nodded in agreement. "I had just gotten my license, didn't really have a chance to get attached." They sat quietly for a few minutes again. There was nothing to be said by either. They just reminisced their old lives. "My butt's gone numb." Danni said randomly. Lesley just began laughing.

"You know what I'm suddenly craving ice cream."

"FOOD!" Danni hollered. Lesley nearly jumped out of her skin. "I miss that too. Fast food, hot guys that worked at Starbucks."

"Oh my word…" Lesley groaned. "You nearly gave me a heart attack." Lesley threw her pillow and hit Danni in the back of the head. Danni just glared at her.

"I should be so lucky." Danni muttered. "You want I should ring the bell for lunch?" Danni looked at her.

"Yes, but I don't wanna go down stairs, that mean's I have to put that wretched dress on." Lesley shivered. Danni snorted. She went over to a large tassel by the bed and pulled it. A few minutes later the maid appeared. "Hey, would you go down to the kitchen and have Cook send up some plates to us. We're not feeling well enough to go down." The girl nodded and curtsied.

"Yes, miss, Right away."

The Cook sent up a delicious brunch of eggs, toast, jam, tea and some turkey. They sat on the bed as it was the most comfortable place. They ate quickly and quietly occasionally giving some to their pets. "So Danni, did you ever have any plans for your life?" Lesley asked picking her teeth.

Danni swallowed her toast hard. "Yup, I was going to collage majoring in Market Research, and minoring in art." She smiled. "You?"

"Well, nothing much really. I was getting this cleared up then I was going to just live a simple life." Lesley shrugged with a yawn.

"As normal as a mob boss's daughter can be?" Danni laughed. They settled down and were quite. "I think I'm going to take a nap."

Lesley yawned. "That sounds like a good idea." She closed her brown eyes and waited for sleep to over come her.

"_Doctor, it's finished._" She heard a foreign voice say. In the back of her mind Lesley was wondering what was finished, and who was this doctor.

Suddenly she felt her head thump against something hard. She sighed and rubbed the spot. Lesley opened her brown eyes and found herself looking out the back of a wagon. There were red coat soldiers in front of her. She sighed; this was a strange dream. She felt something warm on her feet and looked down to see Bo. He was scared. She then realized it wasn't a dream. Tavington and O'Hara were probably playing some elaborate joke on them. It was only a matter of time before it happened. Well this was a good trick. She sighed and looked at the officer. "Hey, I'm looking for Danni Davis." He raised an eyebrow and continued walking.

The jostling that woke her, or maybe it was that she heard someone calling her name. It was a familiar voice, but one that seemed distant over the past week. She knew it well. Slowly Danni opened her eyes. She sat a little straighter and felt her back pop. Her hand was asleep and she looked at the sketchpad in it. There was the sketch she had done of some one. In the right hand corner she could see the name Lesley. Was she asleep dreaming that she was awake, wondering if she was asleep? That was too complicated. Danni shook her head.

In the dark corners of his office the doctor went over his calculations again. "How could it have possibly gone wrong?" He muttered over and over again. "I was so careful."

"Doctor," His assistant stated. "It doesn't matter now, it's finished." In the background, the green whir of lights could be seen. It reflected eerily on the two figures standing in the shadows. They didn't matter anyway, because it was all over now. Nothing left but the idea of a wonderful dream. Those two girls shared over time and space.

THE END

Wow it's over, my first finished fic! Dances anyway, this isn't as funny, but it gives us closer (yea right) To my only two reviewers I owe you both a specail thanks. I aslo owe J.B. Deunweg an even bigger thanks for letting me torment Lesley. (I hope you figured out what Birkenstocks were.) So I guess I'm going to try and finish Vacation... nah... I think I might change fandoms and do Peter Pan for a little while... that is if I can remember that story line... ooo there's the Willy Wonka one too, and the Sky High/Teen Titans crossover... (no, I haven't grown up) But anyway Thanks for reading

Baby Turtle


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